Tuesday, July 31, 2012

The Little Things....Easier Said Than Done

I have not written a post in several months but that does not mean I am forgetting about all the little things, in fact I need to think of them now especially.  While my family managed to skate through the winter without anything more than the occasional cold or sniffles and zipped through spring without any major allergy attacks I was looking forward to a healthy and fun summer.  Well that all changed when my husband became ill around the end of May, and like most men (sorry for the generalization) he just ignored it and chalked it up to allergies, having 2 small children, work, the sky being blue and everything else he could think of.  On June 11th that all changed when he had to be rushed to the hospital, he was unable to stand up at work and was so dizzy unlike anything he had ever experienced.   He was in the hospital for our son's (H) 5th birthday, which was one of the hardest things I have ever had to explain to H, and why we had to cancel his party not once but twice. Fast forward two months he has spent a total of 2 weeks in 2 different hospitals where he endured countless tests culminating with a spinal tap.  He has also spent two weeks at a local rehabilitation facility to strengthen his muscles and learn how to walk again.  Up to this point no Dr. can figure out what is making him ill, he feels as though he is walking in a bouncy house (think children's birthday parties).  All the Dr's can tell us is what isn't wrong, no tumors or cancers, not ALS, Hodgkin's disease or Parkinson's disease, he does not have vertigo, or MS.  And while this should and does bring us comfort it also brings us fear and so many unanswered questions.  The fact that he does not have anything serious and it is probably just a virus should be my little thing for the rest of our lives....but it is not. 
During this time of hospitalizations and rehabilitation centers I was essentially a single parent, yes my husband (C) did talk to the children (H&Z) and they did go to visit him, but the everyday parenting was all me, everyday.  We did have help from some amazing friends and family members but it was still ALL ME!!!!!  The outpouring  of love and support we have received from friends of mine that have never met C, friends of family members, friends from across the country has been amazing and for that we are thankful. 
I have tried everyday to find the little things to be happy about or that make me smile and yes even laugh.  Some of them have included, the hospital having an Au Bon Pain in it, can you say chocolate croissant!!!!  The fact that several times while at the hospital I left so late at night that the gates were up and I did not have to pay for parking.  The fact that when we were at our breaking points the nurses at both hospitals that actually cared, offered a hug or even offered ice cream to me!!!!!  Now there have been small things too, the butterflies we saw daily, the funny texts that my girlfriends and family sent me, the smiles on my H&Z's face when C came home....both times.  Needless to say there has been tons of tears, lots of yelling, times of frustration and days when we didn't want to deal with this any longer, but something keeps us going perhaps it is the little things in life that really are the great things.....
For today my little thing is sitting on the kitchen table cooling in a bundt pan and waiting for a healthy dose of chocolate frosting!!!!!! 


  1. Chocolate cake is good for the soul. It really is. *hugs*

    1. So is a bestie who understands everything!!!!! And enjoys wine and chocolate cake ;) xoxo