Friday, November 8, 2013

Not always so little


When I first decided to start writing a blog my hope was to point out all the little things that can go without realizing in our daily lives, the things that make our days easier, our lives simpler, our time more valuable.  The little things that can sometimes make you stop and say “at least….”.  When I first set out to write a blog I was a mom of 2 toddlers, I was a mom of 2 toddlers who were home with me all day, I was a wife of someone that was healthy, that had a fairly decent job, I was worried about our future (as all moms are) but knew things would get better, that we would move to a better house, a better community, that our children would go great schools (this is where being a teacher and a mom sucks) there was hope. 

 Today I am a mom of 2 children who attend school (one part-time preschool, one full time first grade), I am a wife to a husband who never knows when a seizure will strike (despite being on medication),  I am trying to hold my world together while falling apart inside, we are in a new house that we prematurely thought was going to be a great move for us and turned out to be not so great, my children are in great schools with amazing teachers who love them, we like so many American’s are fighting a losing battle with the economy.

 As I sit typing this Mr. O is preparing to take a leave of absence from work again (code: go back to on TDI) to focus on his health, something I know he has to do but at the same time scaring the life out me, leaving me with more questions than answers, leaving me more stressed than reassured, leaving me more short tempered with my children than I ever wanted to be.  I’m not writing this down because I’m looking for sympathy, or looking for a shoulder to cry on, I’m writing this down because it is what is in my heart right now.

 Right now all of the little things have added up to one big thing, a big thing that is completely out of my control, a big thing that has me worried.  So for now instead of taking one day at a time I need to take one hour at a time and if that is too much than I will cut it down and take 15 minutes at a time. I will try to make sure my children aren’t aware of the craziness that is happening around them, make sure that they always come first, make sure that I try to find at least one little things each day to be thankful for.

 


14 comments:

  1. I think we can all relate because we have all been in your shoes... maybe not experiencing the exact same thing but certainly something that leaves us feeling scared - terrified, even - unsure - insecure - and needing to take life one moment at a time. When I was going through something similar, my main concern was my children. I knew I couldn't shield them from the feelings that were going on because my children were far too smart for that! But I could show them how to cope - make adjustments - carry on. Life has a way of testing us on a regular basis. But we humans always find a way through. Thinking of you and hoping that things will get better.

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  2. And while things are falling apart, don't feel that you have to always be brave, or always find the silver lining. Sometimes life just sucks major pickles and you know what? It's ok to be sad / mad / upset / hurt / frustrated about it. Life isn't all rosy. Yoga, deep breaths and 'thinking positive' doesn't fix a damn thing sometimes. So let it out - let out your feelings and frustrations where you can! xoxoxoxoxo

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  3. You don't have to be in this alone. One of the biggest little things is all the friendships you have made along the way. The love that surrounds you even when you may be too busy to see it or feel it. Your family is loved and we will all be there to help you in any way we can! Love you more than you know xoxo

    Marilyn

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    1. You are my dearest friend, I cherish your words and our 25 year friendship. I love you xoxox

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  4. Oh nooooooo!!!!! For *&$% sake!!!! You have got to be kidding me?? I am so sorry this is happening to all of you, but you don't need to add extra stress by trying to keep the kids in the dark 100% or that their lives stay (perceived) the same. They need to learn that life is like this sometimes...I'm not saying fill them in on all of the details, but let them in on sharing the load so to speak. Let them in on the experience of "We're all in this together". You know I don't ever tell you what to do (sort of!) but I think it could benefit them in the long run to see people come together and help each other out and be a part of that helping out. Okay, down from soap box now...keep up posted and I will help however I can.

    Take care,

    Dina <3

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    1. I am taking one hour at a time, that's all I can do right now
      xoxox

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  5. We are thankful for you and uour strength. Lots of love and prayers to you!!!! <3

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  6. Thank you for sharing your heart. I am learning that strength is made obvious in weakness. It's not an easy lesson to learn. I'll be praying for you. (stopping by from Rhody Bloggers)

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    1. Thank You for stopping by and for your prayers

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  7. So many prayers and good wishes!!! Lots of love sent your way!! I will be praying for you!

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